Acting my age

On so many levels.

As an Actor, well actors in general, I guess - we rarely get to act our age. I'm usually playing someone older and I do prefer playing that, like 50+. In the last show I was in I was playing someone my age. That was different and still a challenge because then not all people "act" their age.

As I've gotten older I've definitely come to terms with my age. I was not too much of a handful, I don't think, but my mom and I had difficulties communicating. I worried my parents. I worried myself. I had a mid-20s mini-life crises. A couple of months ago I had a conversation with my parents about a cousin who was having difficulty dealing with her situation at home. I asked my parents to talk to her parents, (her dad being my dad's brother) about how to talk to her. My uncle wasn't saying much and my aunt was saying heartbreaking things. I steered clear of offering my opinion about what my parents or her parents should say, I only made sure to address the issue of how things are said and presented the facts as I knew them. (hehe, I feel like a lawyer saying that.) A brother and sister were there as I was trying to tell our parents this and it opened up a really good conversation.

I'm at a stage/age where I'm not a child anymore and I shouldn't be talked to the way I was when when I was a kid or teen. I know I'm still my parents' child, so that comes into play. And this age thing really just creeps up with all the warnings there. I mean, one would know when his/her birthday is, usually and it's celebrated or blatantly disregarded, but it's acknowledged, so it's not a surprise when one turns the next age and so on and so forth, BUT it does feel like, "Wow. I'm 20-something and what do I have to show for it? What have I done with my life?" All of sudden, I'm not a naive 21 year-old anymore. I own that I have naivete regarding some things but I think I am pretty knowledgeable and willing to learn.

And so, my cousin's not at an age anymore where her parents' way of talking to her is effective or constructive. It's divisive and overbearing. I've definitely felt a change in how my parents treat me especially in the last year. This conversation helped. Conversations in general are important. I don't have to agree with them and I don't but I can respect their opinion. And it also feels like they're learning how to have children who are no longer kids and teens. We're all stumbling through it together. It does matter that what I do as much as what I say is it honest and mature and virtuous. That is not to say that I'm perfect by any means. I don't tell them everything and I don't always agree with them and I definitely don't always do the "right" thing but I've earned their trust and respect. And it's taken a long time.

I was at a staff day training where the keynote speaker was Dr. David Walsh. He's incredibly smart and presented topics on the brain and teens. So this presentation was specifically focused on the adolescent brain. It was applicable to the work that we do at the library. His presentation was invaluable because it was presented in a way that made so much sense and painted a picture for us to enable us to see how we think and how teens think and how our thought process worked when we were teens.

So, it makes sense that it took a long time to gain my parents' confidence but I appreciate that I do have it. Not have I only gained trust from my parents but also the reverence of other aunts and uncles. It's weird but nice. I am a good kid. Overall.

But I don't want to be compared or put in that "be like Pajsuab" sentence. Don't be like me. Be like you, be better.